


what is this

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, no, please dont read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 19:34:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1359289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Dave Strider, and you’re sitting in the floor with your back to the couch, the collective Strider household laughter ringing in your ears. Shocker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what is this

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know why i wrote this

Your name is Dave Strider, and you’re sitting in the floor with your back to the couch, the collective Strider household laughter ringing in your ears. Shocker.

“Alright douchebags,” you say, getting up slowly, determined to show just how much this isn’t getting to you. You adjust your shades. “I’m out.”

You get all of twenty seconds of believing you’ll get out of this before Li’l Cal’s face is on your neck, still giggling like the little fucker he is. It’s not that his joke was even funny at all; the Striders just loved to laugh at you. Always have. You frown as you hear a doomed Dave’s laughter pipe up again, followed by Dirk’s. Bro’s telling them to shut up, and you hear some playful teasing from doomed Dave number 2 or 7 or 28 or you can’t even fucking remember which.

Aren’t they just the happiest fucking family.

You’re the outcast.

Always have been.

Cal’s hand curls around your neck slowly, and you decide today’s the day you’re gonna fly off the handle like you’ve been threatening since you were 13. And it’s all Cal’s fault. You pry his hand away and throw it at him, your face twisted into something resembling ill-disguised disgust, and you hear yourself yelling at him. You hear yourself dealing low blows all over the place, picking and prodding at things that would bother you if you were Cal. Of course you don’t know what _actually_ pisses him off; he’s too ‘cool’ for that.

The next thing you feel is Cal’s hand down the front of your pants, and your peripheral vision jumps into action. You catch a glimpse of Bro throwing himself through the window, Dirk slamming  the bathroom door shut, and the two doomed Daves shaking their heads in disgust as they fly over the couch and abscond right out the front door. It’s not like weird incest or puppet sex wasn’t a regular occurrence Chez Strider, but no one enjoyed sticking around to taste the wrath of Cal when he wanted something.

No one except you. The outcast.

“I’m gonna suck your dick dry, you little bitch.”

You choke as Cal tugs on your already hard (what, how?) cock, eagerly tearing your comfy limited edition Knight of Time pajama pants in an effort to get them off you. You try and protest, but Cal’s weird puppet mouth is on your neck, and _damn_ he’s being aggressive. You know  you’ll have marks in the morning.

The backs of your knees hit the coffee table and you’re falling, Cal’s entire body weight on yours, and your hands are roaming, fingers lingering on his rump. Plush. As. Fuck.

You feel Cal’s body start to move down yours, tearing your comFY LIMITED EDITION KNIGHT OF TIME PAJAMA SHIRT right down the fucking middle, and he’s sucking on your nipples and you don’t fucking care anymore. You groan obscenely and bite your lip, squirming underneath him. Not soon enough, your cock is free and in his face, and all he’s doing is staring at it like it’s the first cock he’s ever seen in his life. You gasp.

“Guh, nhh,” you say, gesturing for him to just fucking do it already, your pulse making your ears pound uncomfortably.  

With a signature fucking Strider smirk, he’s wrapping his lips around you, flicking his tongue in all the right places, and you’re practically screaming. You haven’t gotten sucked off since that one doomed Dave a couple months ago, but he’s dead, and right now all you can think is Cal, Cal, Cal.

“Cal,” you cry, breathy, porn star gold, practically melting in the heat of his mouth. “Cal, Cal, Cal—“

Cal, Cal, Cal, and how he must’ve been wanting this for so long if he’s willing to deep throat a brother without having received anything in return beforehand. The thought has you groaning again, and you fist your hands in Cal’s hair, pushing your dick into his throat as far as he’ll let it, over and over and over, and he’s humming around you like some fucked out mess, his face flushed and stretched and heavy-lidded and lusty-eyed. Before you even have time to figure it out yourself, you’re coming, and Cal’s spluttering and you’re laughing and Dirk sticks his head out of the bathroom. Soon he’s laughing, too, and doomed Dave number 2 hesitantly unlocks his (your) bedroom door.

“Fucking—ow, my eye, son of a bitch,” Cal chokes out, an extremely painful-looking tent gracing the front of his weird puppet dress t-shirt thing. He’s rubbing his eyes, whining in pain, desperately trying to rid himself of your jizz all over his face, and finally, fucking _finally,_ you got back at him. Doomed Daves are scrambling for high fives all over the place, and Dirk’s standing closer to you than he ever has before, eyeing your still naked crotch. You fist bunp him hesitantly. Soon, Bro’s home, and he scowls at the mistreatment of his puppet before he realizes what’s going on. His laughter’s the icing on the cake.

Finally it’s Cal on the floor of the living room, everyone laughing at him, and you’re naked and high fiving people and it’s the best goddamned day of your life.

**Author's Note:**

> that’s the end of the story
> 
> that’s it
> 
> there you go
> 
> don't own homestuck


End file.
